Smiles can hide anything and everything. 

Well, other than working again, this week wasnt as good.

First of all, i came clean with him. Let's just call him, C.

So had a heart to heart conversation with C just now about everything. 

I really can't stand all the stress anymore. Eventually i broke down. 

But we talked about all the stuff that has been bothering us for some time now. 

It really felt good letting it it out to him. 

Its not healthy to keep bottling up all my feelings and thoughts for too long.

Secondly, now i really dont know what to do. 

Either I M.I.A from the whole group or I stick to one.

But i love everyone from both groups. Our one big family is falling apart. 

And the most heartbreaking thing is, 

when dad told me that they dont trust me just because im closer to the people they dont like. 

You think im that bad is it?

Every time I hang out with them, i'll be thinking about our whole group, not just us.

I still prefer our old outings. 

Sharing stories, laughter and good memories together.

I really want our old group back. I miss the old Familia ♥

But i really feel like M.I.A-ing from familia.

I seriously dont want to be involved with anymore problems. 

If this goes on, i think i'll just leave the group.

Im not joking. Im dead serious.But that is if there are more problems. 

I'll just act normal with everyone.Just smile and no one will question whatsoever.

And i hate being the youngest in the group.

I will always be judged, eventhough im very close to them. 

And i cant stand being judged. I dont know why but its just me.

I know i've been seeking alot of attention from daddy but that is because

 im really comfortable when i talk to him.

I feel like i can talk to him about anything. 

I admit my mistake. I know im wrong.

Its always my fault. And Im sorry. 

If you still want to see me as an attention seeker, go ahead. 

 But all humans make mistakes. Everyone have their flaws. Including you and me. 

Anyway, i still feel pathetic because Im sort of like the

 middle person in this big conflict. And it sucks.

And the guilt just keeps on growing. 

Eventhough C already forgive me, the problem is still not settled yet. 

Im still very scared. Im still very stressed. Im still very sad. Im still very angry.

But i'll just have to face the consequences and be strong. Hopefully i wont break down like just now.

But when i was on my way home,

i got texts and whatsapp msgs telling me to cheer up and dont think too much. 

That really brightened up my day. I really love these guys.

They are always there for me when i need someone to talk to. 

They are kind of rare to find in Singapore nowadays so im going to keep them close to me.

And i finally found out that the guys that were staring at me for a couple of weeks now was actually the same two guys. They finally had the balls to come and talk to me.

That also brightened up my day/night/week. 

But im not intrested in any commitments right now. 

Im loving my single life, living to the fullest.

Alright, gonna go sleep now. 

Goodmornights ♥